Wedding Bells

 

No there aren't mine !!!!

 A friend from high school is getting married. This will be his second one. I myself have never been married, I am still looking for that dream girl I guess. I was in his first wedding. I have only met his fiancé only once she seemed very nice. I hope they have a long and happy life together. 


 For there wedding gift, my mother did a cross stich piece. I did a custom mat. So lets she how that
turned out. I started with some paper about 10 pieces. Some are photo paper, and some are butcher paper. I put paint down on glass. Then printed onto the paper from the glass. This is one of the pieces
I made onto photo paper.

After printing the piece off glass, I let it dry. Then spay mounted it

to black on, black mat board.

When that was dry I had to choose what piece to cut he mat board out of.

I had spray mounted two, one black and one white background.

I chose to try the black background first. There where issues as there

always are. The black on did not adhere at all. I had to spray glue it again.

After letting it dry I cut it to match the frame and the cross stich piece.

Above is the mat board cut and ready for framing. I know it looks simple and really it was.

It however took a lot of time, a few supplies. Of course there where issues. In the end I think it

looks great for all the problems I had. From bad spay glue, to not shaking the paint up properly.

It seems to have worked out.

Above is the cross stich piece my mom made, inside the mat. The frame isn't shown, it is just a simple black frame.

                                                                                                      Mo 

I Apologize

 June is always a tough month. This year was a little worse. Mostly because I am a little worse. I know its been a long time, 1994 was very long ago. Yea Donna is my dream girl. Was she perfect, lol far from it. It was the bond we had that meant so much. It still does. Its she my Dream girl because she was pretty? Well to me she is. Was she beautiful, Of course. That's why I love her so much.


Beauty is much more then skin deep. Beauty comes from within. All of us are beautiful when we want to be. I just don't feel I have been all that beautiful lately. I need to let go of the past I keep trying to hang onto. So much changed for me all very quickly. It took its told on my soul.


I been at a rush to judge others, that highly sensitivity thing, sometimes I read to much into things. Because of my own insecurity's. It damaged my trust of others more then anything.
When normally these things wouldn't faze me.


I hate acting this way. I don't like the way I am acting at all.  After what happen I guess I am fearful of it happening again. That really isn't any excuse. I don't like being like this at all. Its not fair to thoughts around me. I keep trying to prove to myself, That I am a good person. I however don't feel that I am. I need to learn to let go, move on, from this negative energy that seems to have me in its grasps.


I need a good source of neutral or positive energy. I need to be a little more trusting of others. I need to be joyful for what I do have. I shouldn't let others get me down.


Its hard when you hit that weak spot. It just pulls you in. Like quicksand the more you struggle the deep you go. I hope my friends understand I don't mean to be a jerk. But I feel like I have been.
So I am sorry to everyone. If I am acting a bit odd, I am struggling. I don't mean to act this way or even want to act this way. Emotions sometimes a pull stronger then gravity.


 I will try to do better, I will look harder for the Joy that so many, in my life bring me. I will try again to let go. I am not winning this fight. Maybe I shouldn't be fighting at all. Its not really my sort of thing. I only upset myself more.


I hope everyone can forgive me, for the way I been acting.


                                                                                                          Mo

A day I will never forget

      Its June 14th, For me a day I will never forget. Around 1pm my time. I don't know how, I don't,

 know why, at the time I just didn't understand. I heard a voice in my head. It said "I'm sorry I have to go, I need to be with my parents" At the time it made no sense to me. None at all. It confused me, even spooked me a bit. I brushed it off. I didn't know what to think.

Around 3pm I got a phone call. Then what I had heard in my head made sense. The call was from her sister. My Best Friend, the Girl of my Dream, had died. I will never know how she told me good bye,

but I will never forget that afternoon.

 

Its been 23 years and for me it is like it was just yesterday. I still see her face every time I close my eyes. I still feel her present's. I feel she watch over me, even after all of this time, I still Love

her more then words can ever say. She still inspires me to be a better person. She taught me a lot before and after her death. She taught me what Love really is. I still Love her as much today as I did 23 years ago.

True love never dies.

It never gets old or tired.

It always forgives.

I miss hearing her voice, seeing her smile, I will always have the Love she gave me.

To speak her name fill my eyes with tears and my heart with Love.

She is truly my angel and still guides me on this path we call Life.

                                                                                                                Mo

Donna will always be missed, I carry her in my heart, so she is not really gone.

She gave me a family, She gave me her friendship, she gave me a bond that still lasts to this day.

 

Unsure

   Its true, While I'm doing much better today, everyday is a challenge. Today is no different. I am still deeply hurt by all that has happened. Emotional in up I'm down I'm left and I'm right. I am unsure where I belong. Its like trying to put a square peg in a round hole. I have no direction. I keep looking hoping to find what ever it is, I need to settle my soul.

     

I seem to be stuck in a rut and I need to get out and continue this crazy thing we call life.
                                  
                                                                                                                                                   Mo

I Came, I Saw, I Wanted, I Got

I try very hard, at everything I do. Its 110 percent. I give it may all unless I don't want to do it at all, I have normally have all the patience  in the world. I will wait till the cows come home, if that's what it takes. I usually get what ever it is I truly want. Not always but most the time. If I didn't get what I wanted did I really want it at all? Well I really wanted a CNC. I wasn't really Patience this time around. I am eager to learn. Not only about how to use a CNC, but how to build one. The building part seems a lot easier, then learning how to use one properly. I am taking no chances this time around, I will work night and day, for a year maybe longer if that how long it takes. I really think automation is the future. If I can learn this thing I can learn anything. I have taught myself many things. I have taught others a lot. I am no leader but I follow no one. I learn by doing, I learn with the help of my friends, that take the time to teach me what they know.

I can tell you this looks like its a little above my pay grade.

I bit harder then I wanted it to be.

But no harder then I expected.

 

But I am bound and determined to figure it out.

Come hell or high water.

With enough time and money anything is possible

While this maybe true, with enough heart

anything is possible too. While I may not have money,

probably not all that much time. I have a lot of heart.

Its them emotions that can make one fell so bad, feel so

 overwhelmed at times that can also help us conquer any

obstacle the universe put in front of us.

Emotions and bonds may make me a bit weak at times.

They also make me much stronger then most.   

Not everything turns out. While this test went well.

Its not perfect, lol. Its messed up. I at least tried.

And I will regroup and try again. This image is cut into mat board.

The CNC is apparently  out of tram. Its not level so to say.

The bit cut a bit of the mustache. I may have cut to deep?

Used the wrong kinda bit? Could be my feeds and speeds?

Time will give me these answers. Its all trial and error.

Not every thing goes belly up. Just because things don't go my way

at times that's no reason to get in a hissy fit.

I just have to start again.

The more I try the better I will get.

As this one isn't half bad.

I already have plans to use it.

I love digital things, you can rinse and repeat

till them cows come home. This is the same image

I cut into the saw blade by hand.

This one however is like 2.42 inches by 1.82 .

Or around 61mm by 46mm for you metric types.

Its pretty small. I think it did an ok job over all.

For a test I think I came out great.

Moving on to something harder. I by no means have anything figured out yet

I got it to cut, have only broke one bit so far. I think I'm doing rather well.

So I took the image below that I spent a while making. By the way below is

a highly manipulated image of yours truly.

I have no idea what I did to make it, its a bit blurry I know I used

a lot of the blur filter. But I took that image from above. Loaded it

in the software, ran the tool path, generated the gcode. Sent that to

the CNC, and I got this.

Ok it took a long time, far from great, but I am impressed. The file could use a bit of work.

Maybe someone else's picture as I'm not all that cute.

Its about 60mm by 60mm or so. Carving my artwork into wood, I have to say, that is

really awesome.  I'm getting older its harder to do the things I once did. So for me

this is great. Maybe I can adapt things to the 3d printer and print a few things in 3d, out of plastic.

The possibilities are endless.

 The only thing that holds you back is yourself.

I know this all to well. I will try harder to be better. Even if I have no idea what I'm doing.

The fact I tried, the fact I gave it my all, the fact I didn't give up

That's what counts for me.

I'm not sure, I'm good at anything

I don't need to be the best, I don't need to win,

Its only important that I try.

                                                                                                                    Mo

 

Speaking of Toys

 

Boxes from china?

You just have to Love them

I know I do

Lots of parts no instruction's

Ok there where some poorly written ones

With wrong measurements

A picture tell a thousand words

Because of this I really had little issue assembling it

I was missing a part but I replaced for 12 dollars or so

Took me about 3 hours to assembly wasn't bad at all.

Its small underpowered and takes a long time to cut things.

But I had to start somewhere. It is what I wanted. Its small

and I can learn on it. That really all its for. It about learning.

If I lean how to use it, and use it a lot I can justify building a bigger much more

powerful CNC. I plan to build a small my self very soon. To see if I can make

all the motors and controller work with out the help from a kit.

                                                                                               Mo

Its new

 Boys and there toys, Its all about toys right?

Ok not really but toys help make life a bit more fun.

I hated the two small drill presses that where about.

They work barely. Really way to underpowered for anything

I wanted to do. The did work.

I think I may turn them into something more useful one day.

Or I may just give them away. I have a lot of projects.

Not near enough room.

Lol I'm still working on the project in the picture. I may have found a way to complete

it, with the help from a friend.

You can see it fairly small for a drill press. It does not care for quarter inch plate steel

at all. Even wood can be an issue with some of my forester bits.

So voilà, A 25 percent of coupon, a trip to the store.

And......

Its a ton better. Not the best by any means, but much, much, better.

I hope to make a table for it, I went out and got the parts. Its just something

to add to list of things to do. Like that list wasn't long enough.

                                                                                                   Mo

For a few Friends

I realized something when I wrote that last post. I get ideas from others. Talking too, associating with others, makes me want to do projects, paint, build things, even if I have no idea what I am doing. By shutting nearly everyone out, I didn't do myself any favors at all.


 I however am going to try to stay far, far, away from those that care so much about themselves and so little about anyone else. I know there is a lot of them but I can't let them get to me and ruin things for everyone when it comes to me. I can do so much without the negative energy they create.


  A friend said something about tee shirts today, I have only made one tee shirt design. I don't know if anyone like it other then me. But I think its great, I could wear one everyday. That is if I wore shirts
all that often. Not a big fan of shirts, I do have to go out every now and then. I posted the images  of the shirts  on this blog a long, long, time ago. Its all about red, white and blue,  4th of July is my Favorite Holiday.


There where original posted July 4th 2014
http://badmoarts.blogspot.com/2014/07/a-celebration-of-freedom.html


This is a design, I made for an art contest, I didn't get in. I think the other piece's I summited kinda kept me from getting in. The judge was a feminist and may have taken the other pieces the wrong way. I often do not explain my art or my feeling. I am trying to better at that. I however have a hard time conveying my feeling to others. I have the original art hanging on my wall.

I like the design so much I made my own shirt, this is my

first attempted to make a shirt.

I liked it so much, I lol had one printed by professionals

Full bleed, a 360 shirt. It really cool, I think.

I don't wear it much. Its funny because of the

way I think the more attachment I have to something

the less likely I am to use it. I fear damaging it.

That's just the way it is. I should wear it more often.

I can always get another one made.

Its that emotional bond thing.

I'm not so sure others will understand.

Ok I have went a bit grey, could use to lose a few pounds.

What can I say I'm getting older every day.

The wall In my room, I have art every where, These just happen

to be a few of my favorites.

This is one that may be the reason I didn't get in.

Like I said the judge was a feminist.  Not that

I have anything against women or feminist.

It seems to upset women when you compare them to meat.

Really that was the point. It is about how women are portrayed

in media and in real life. Sex sells. How they are treated unfairly in the work force.

How many men still believe women are only good for sex and to make baby's.

I don't believe that. Men are no better then women and to be honest

in many way women are far superior to men.

Men by no means are any better then women,

we just have different traits.

I never really completed or even got a good start on men are pigs.

I did one a long time ago with wrapping paper. I  wanted to but never went out

to take pictures of pigs.

This piece was very complicated, very technical and well above

the knowledge of really anyone that has viewed it. I don't think

even art experts would figure out how it was made.

It was costly time, consuming and used an odd method I have never

heard of an artist using. I nearly ruined a printer.

The girl was made, as part of the women in meat series. There are four pieces in all.

This one is the most elaborate.  The meat was placed in the image, then printed on transparency

paper. Not the kind used for a inkjet printer. So when it came out of the printer it was still wet.

Then hand printed onto a sheet of paper. Scanned, then the background was added.

That is how I got the texture. The background is the meat from the foreground.

I don't recommend this if you are worried about breaking your printer.

It was quite a mess and I had blobs on my prints for weeks. 

I'm sorry if I seem to post a lot at one time. Its a lot to take in, I'm

sure. I am trying to catch up. Trying to post when I can. Its seems it all comes

at one time. I have so many things going on. I have too much on my mind.

I really want to thank those that take the time to read my nonsense. Those that listen and encourage me. It means the world to me.A true artist only wishes to share there thoughts, emotions, feelings with others. I don't do real well sharing them things, other then in my art, that most people never take the time to understand. I am trying to do better sharing with others on a personal level. I'm not sure I will get there, at least I am trying. 

Art comes in many forms, While I am unwilling to fully share my story and emotions on the

image  below publicly.

Privately I don't have an issue. I can say I had it for a long time. I can say I did it myself.

It is permanent. Its not going to wash off.

Some people may not like it, its not a great tattoo.

But its is mine and I love it. I am not sorry in any way about.

I would not like it removed.

When other bring up I should have it removed, covered

 or redone it offends me.  

While I love it, I will never get another tattoo. I don't want another one.

I truly do where my heart on my hand.

                                                                                 Mo

    

Projects Past

  On to bigger and better things, Ok not really. Thought I would share some of my past projects. Not only the good ones. A few of the failures to. Some I haven't yet finished. Maybe they will inspire others and myself to build something, start a new project, finish an abandoned project or just enjoy what ever hobbies they are doing at the moment. I know life can get hectic,  don't get discouraged.  I fail all the time, Things break, nothing ever goes my way. That doesn't stop me from trying new things. It don't stop the passion I have for the things and the people I love so much.




 I Love to learn new things, Love to meet new people, Love to just have fun. Every cloud has its silver lining if you think about it hard enough. Its is true. You just have to believe in yourself. Do what you think is best. We all have bad days, bad weeks, and for me its been a bad year. Sometimes things are just unexpected or overwhelming. This day was no exception there. Everything seemed to be going good.

Then well

Things happen

What can I say

Lesson learned don't pile to much weigh on the table saw where it isn't supported.

That was a mess I could do with out. In the end while not finished I did pretty good,  before

others rained on my parade.

This is as far as I got on the bench's



I don't know if they are any good. I didn't have plans.

I am upset at myself for not finishing them. They need to be stained.

I built them out of Traces Tree House.

Below catapults I worked so hard on for my friends kids.

They didn't go as planned. I have only finished one.  Least I finished one. I still want to finish them. The tears will be many.

This one is done. I did it by hand with a dermal like tool. A lot of

Diamond bits and a few hours. It is the blade I destroyed cutting up the

Tree house. I thought it was fitting. Ideas just pop in my head

and I'm off running. 

Ok its silly but just something I wanted to do. I had only started

playing with this stuff when things happened that caused so much depression.

Its still something I want to learn. I could do so much with things like this.

You have to start somewhere. I was so impressed and happy over this thing.

I know its silly. But made me so very happy.

I know it not much.

My first go at electronics. I was over the moon.

I have piles of parts. So many projects I never even started.

                                                                                                   Mo