Highly Sensitive

It seems I may be a highly sensitive person. I recently found there was a name for it and what it is.
I had tried to explain to others why I don't think the same as them. But I had a difficult time explaining. Not so sure I can really explain. Now that I understand that my connection to the world is emotional. It explains so many things.

Its explains why I wont do things I once loved so much. It explains why I disassociate with others that I really like. It explains why I have such an attachment objects, people, places, events and activities and I will disassociate objects people, places, events and activities. When the emotional overload disrupts such bonds.

Normally I get along in the world just fine. Normally am happy even at the worst of times. This is because the emotional bonds I formed kept me secure. When these bonds get damaged  my mind don't know how to handle it. What others may perceive as not a big deal internally I flip out. To cope with the emotional trauma I dissociate these emotional ties. 

Because everything is linked emotional internally damaging these emotional bonds can have serve affects on my emotional state. On my quality of life. How I feel about myself and others. Repairing these bonds is not an easy task.  Once that bond is damaged, objects, people, places, events and activities become somewhat toxic. As I will now internally associate this bond with negative emotions.

I will associate objects, people, places, events and activities with an emotion. Its how I process information.So if a bond is damaged between person A and I associate person A with person B. Effectively even if person B had nothing to do with what disrupted the bond with person A. The emotional bond between me and person B is affected, even if they did nothing wrong. This I believe is because I now associate negative emotions with person A and B. Internally I may still like person A and B, to protect myself from more emotional overload I will avoid both A and B. It can be the same with activities or objects If someone makes me feel bad over something. I then may associate an object or activity with a negative feeling. Knowing all of this it makes some trauma in my life make more sense to me. While I do try very hard to repair these emotional ties to the world I don't always know how.

It also makes realized that because of my thought process I may at times overload others. They may not understand how I think and believe I'm in there mind that my actions or to impress, manipulate or take advantage. Just because I do something for someone does not mean I have any ill intent. More then likely I do it because of the emotional bond that I all ready have formed. For me once a emotional bond is formed, that bond can’t really be completely remove from my system. The emotional association with this bond changes. While I do my best to repair any damaged bond, emotional overload can prevent me from doing so. Sometimes I need help to repair these bonds. When others don't understand how you think and feel about things they to can become overwhelmed. While trying frantically to fix these bonds others often do not see you are calling for help and see your emotional state as threatening to there self.

Looking at myself I now understand what it is I need, what it is I want. I need emotional connections. That is all I really want. That is what is important to me. Finding this is a much harder task then it seems because of my internal complexities. I will continue to try to repair the emotional ties I have to others and the world. I will continue to seek the emotional connections that my inner self treasures so much.

                                                                                                                                                      Mo
 

Mo's Emotional Color Dairy April

April 25th 2017

Beat

April 26th 2017

Sad

April 27th 2016

Tired

April 28th 2017

Detached

April 29th 2017

Smiles

April 30th 2017

Blocked



Emotional Colors II

A very good friend suggested I try some sort of color therapy. So I thought maybe, I would give it a go. It will be a color swatch each day. One word to go with the color swatch. So everyday I will make a new swatch. I will put them on my blog. Along with the word that describes how I feel emotionally that day.

 I hope to do this for a year. At the end of the year I will do my best to make a piece of art out of all of the swatches. I rarely have any idea of what I am doing and this is no exception. I love the idea, pulling it off is another thing. I have decided each swatch will be a four inch square at 100 dpi. I may design the swatches in different sizes. But will resize them after I have made them.

 I went with such a low resolution because making them all, onto something at the end of the year could be hard if they are different sized swatches. If I where to make them a high resolution,  combining them all into something at the end of the year would be very taxing on my computer to say the least.

 Organization is not one of my best skills, logistically this could be a mess. I can only try.
I have to warn you I'm an emotional mess. This may not be pretty. Often I don't show or share my emotions with others. Even those I feel close too. Sharing them with the world with the world is
a bit freighting. Bear in mind these are emotions, feeling you really don't control. There just that feelings. Hopeful we will see how feelings change like the seasons of the year. They can change like the weather. They can be steady or all over the place depending on the day.

I am going to call it Mo's Emotional Color Dairy.


I would like to thank my family and my friends that have supported me as I have not been myself as of late. All of people have taken time out of there lives to read my blog. Especially would like to thank the ones that make me smile.
                                                                                                                                              Mo

Emotional Colors

 Life is full of Color

Full of Feelings

Full of Emotions

Full of Thoughts



Life is not always black and white, there are a lot of grey areas.

 Its them grey areas, where you don't always know

how you feel, or what you want that are so

complicated.

There are many shades of grey that complicate life.

Emotions can change the way you feel about

yourself, about others.

It can change what you enjoy.

While it affects you mentally it can also have a impact

on your physical being.

                      

Emotions seem to affect every aspect of ones life.

It is often emotions that keeps us from doing the

things we want to do. 

 

Emotions do a lot of things

They can make us smile

They can make us cry

They can make one want more

They can make one, just not want anything at all

Where does this leave me?

Somewhere

Nowhere

I am not really sure

Stuck in that grey area

I suppose

Very lost and looking to find

That spark

That emotion

That feeling of Love I once had

for everyone 

I'm sure its in there somewhere 

I will keep looking.

                                                                                                                               Mo

Gone Batty

 I have not gone batty, I'm fairly sure I have always been a bit batty. I printed these again, I got the files form that magical place https://www.thingiverse.com/. I have not tried to design any files myself yet. 3-d design seems a bit overwhelming. I do plan to, I plan to do a lot of things that never get done.
I do want to learn 3-d design, I however don't want to get started till I have a CNC machine. Its on my list and near the top. Right next to a mill and a robot. This list could go on for a while so I will spare you the details.

 I printed these for a friend I though may like them.

 At least I hope they do.

Hope it makes them smile.

Smile for today

Smile for tomorrow

Smile because

When you

Smile

The entire World

Smiles with

You

                                                                                          Mo

A cannon

  I said I wanted to make a cannon. Well I did, Its may not be the cannon I really wanted but its a
start. You have to start somewhere. Seems I have over booked my time and am very behind. That energy thing again. I do to start on the other cannon sooner or later. Seems I have on a lot of projects
and other things that have eaten away at my time. I need like 72 hours days. I still would be behind.
Learning about this new printer, I have not got a chance to turn on my lathe. I will be getting on that its on the list. I still have pens to make too. Clean the garage. Never enough space or time.

Picture of the Cannon I Printed

I didn't design it, I found it on https://www.thingiverse.com/.

It cost me like five dollars in screws, it should have but I got

the wrong ones the first time. Second time I wasn't going back

to the store so got a few more then I needed.

It took me two days to print this had a few issues

getting things to stick to the printer bed.

A bit of fun in a drab world.

                                                                                       Mo



Easter Aftermath

 Easter was a hard day. It started out slow didn't want to go. I had half way prepared to go. I had got Easter stuff for the kids. Even though I was going to see my favorite people. I just have not been my  self in a while. Totally drain of energy. So much I want to do, however the energy I once had just is not there. I have been pushing myself to do things. To try to hangout with others. Its seems at the moment my heart just is not in it. Hopefully one day soon I will be the fun loving crazy person I truly am.


 This blog is about art is also about emotions feeling and thoughts. Art is really nothing more then an expression of thought, a feeling, an emotion.

This picture Below is made of Easter Eggs and Sweethearts

for my some of my favorite people in the world

A bit of playing and I got the picture below

from the image above

The image below was not made with eggs or sweethearts

just some playing about with the original image

A picture of some of my favorite people, on a holiday filled with friends and family. Over all I had

a great time. It was still a hard day. Looking at these pictures make me smile, puts joy in my heart and brings me one step closer to smiling everyday.

                                                                                                                                              Mo

Happy Easter

Well it is Easter Day
It is here hoo-ray Hoo-ray
I hope everyone has a
Fantastic Day :-)

Happy Easter To All :-)

Running late as normal Just wanted to say

Happy Easter

I hope you enjoy this years Easter Picture

I was in a bit of a hurry

Rush Rush Rush

Must deliver Them

Egg

So without farther ado

Here it is

                                                                                                                           Mo

A New Day, A New Project

  Its been a bit more then a month. I have been meaning to post more, trying to keep up. Sometimes we all fall behind. I have not starting the cannon yet. I have just got the belt I needed for my lathe.
So I hope to start on that soon. I have a lot of projects going at the moment. I do plan to build a cannon. Just not this week.

 So I got this lighting deal on a 3D Printer kit for 214 dollars from Amazon.com. Its a Alunar® 3D Printer M508. I thought I would take a few minute's to the you what I think about it. I was not paid or given any condensation for my review. I do not endorse this product in any way. This printer comes as a kit. It may be updated or upgraded at any time. So your experience may differ from mine.

I have never put a 3d Printer together before, I don't have much experience with such things. I have built a few pc in my time. That may have helped me a bit.  It still seemed like a daunting task. I had read so many horror stories. So I want not expecting much. I didn't want to get my hopes up if it didn't work.

 After many hours, a few days, a bit of sweat I got it all together. To my surprise it worked, the very 
first time I turned it on. Sure it has a few setting that need to be adjusted, overall I am very pleased.

 If it wasn't for my very good friends I would have never attempted such a task, there encouragement made all the differents in the world to me.  Building this printer reminded me a lot of the friend I lost.  He always wanted a 3d Printer. I have no idea what he planned to use it for. Funny, I don't know what I will do with it myself. For me its about learning new things, challenging myself.  I still have lots to learn.

I would like to thank my friends and my family for putting up with my eccentricities. I know I can be a bit much sometimes. I just get so much energy and I do my best to use it in a positive way. While I have not been feeling well physically, mentally I am doing much better. I still have my days. But getting there. 

 So Smile for yourself, Smile for your friends, Smile for your family. It is true a Smile can change the world.

 If you want to build a 3D Printer, a Robot, a Cannon or a Boat, I say do it. There is nothing stopping you other then yourself. Maybe it won't work the first time, maybe it will. You will never know unless 
you try. 

 If you do anything this week try to learn something new.


                                                                                                                            Mo