Easter was a hard day. It started out slow didn't want to go. I had half way prepared to go. I had got Easter stuff for the kids. Even though I was going to see my favorite people. I just have not been my self in a while. Totally drain of energy. So much I want to do, however the energy I once had just is not there. I have been pushing myself to do things. To try to hangout with others. Its seems at the moment my heart just is not in it. Hopefully one day soon I will be the fun loving crazy person I truly am.
This blog is about art is also about emotions feeling and thoughts. Art is really nothing more then an expression of thought, a feeling, an emotion.
This picture Below is made of Easter Eggs and Sweethearts
for my some of my favorite people in the world
A bit of playing and I got the picture below
from the image above
The image below was not made with eggs or sweethearts
just some playing about with the original image
A picture of some of my favorite people, on a holiday filled with friends and family. Over all I had
a great time. It was still a hard day. Looking at these pictures make me smile, puts joy in my heart and brings me one step closer to smiling everyday.
Mo
Good for you Mo! Its hard getting back into the physical socializing aspect huh? Some people don't understand how hard it is, especially when confronted with who you used to be and where you are now. It can be frustrating and heartbreaking. You know me and my analogies, but sometimes I kind of look at my life like a book series. And just like beloved characters they are never the same in the last book as in the first. Stuff happens that affects them. Life pushes and challenges us, and while it sucks, its how we know we're doing it right. Its a real pain in the patootie when we don't want things to change and life sorta flips us the bird and says tough beans. I effing hate starting over. But just like in our favorite current pastime, sometimes we gotta, and thats ok, cause the other option is keeping everything the same and that gets old, and you never learn anything new. We're not challenged. That first little bit after we start over can be hard, but we like the grind. & whats funny, is that even though everytime we start over, and change little things, you still know who did what because we each have our core. We each leave our mark huh? Those sweet smiling faces above, the ones that bring you joy, yeah keep those. We gotta learn that sometimes people come into our lives for a chapter. sometimes just a page. We sadly we cant keep them all (I know, I've tried as well). Some its easy to let go, some its hard, and some its life changing. BUT there are a few we get to keep. The ones who truly know you, the ones who will call you on your shiz and still have your back when you need it, the ones who help you find a reason to keep going, that help you get to the finish line....those are the ones we gotta keep for the whole series. Just like our tools, we have special friends who have special purposes in our lives, and YOU have special purposes in others Mo. We don't have control over other peoples choices and actions, they are in charge of their own story. However you have control over your story, your legacy, and I'm proud of you for taking it back. It gives me hope and encourages me to do the same. I freaking hate that I don't have an instruction manual and I have no idea whats in store, but I know whats in store if I just give up-and that sucks worse. Baby steps. One outting, one gathering, one project at a time. Going back to the core of who you are and building off that foundation is what is pretty effing epic. Make it colorful and awesome and totally Mo:)
ReplyDeletePS one last analogy cause I have to. Make your story, your painting, your building what ever like this beautiful background. Having bad days or neutral days is ok because when its mixed up with the good ones, and the AMAZINGLY AWESOME ones, it just pops even more-like that pink. and that blue, and little traces of purple. If I were an artist, I would love to have a painting that instead of writing in a journal (which I totally don't do) I would add colors to each day. OHHH MO!!! That's an idea. We both love color right? Lets do something like that. It will be a collage. We can do it for a year. I can do it with images, but lets do it. Lets do something that we save/add to a project each day. Its about emotions right? Some days its gonna be one blah image, color whatever. Some days its gonna be 23. but at the end, dude, it could be way freaking cool. #colortherapy lets make it a thing dude. Mine is also gonna have words though cause hello. You know me, words are kinda a big deal.
Im still not socializing all that well. I really wanted no part of Easter. Im still lost, slowly finding my way. I like analogies myself, I use them all the time. Funny i cant think of any at the moment. Me I like change, it keeps things new and refeshing. I hate to lose characters from my book. I can't write other books nor would I want too. Writing my own gives me enough trouble. I dont mind change just hate letting go of thoughs that mean so much to me. My family was never
Deletereally close. So losing a friend, really gets me down, Its like losing a family memeber.
Regardless of who is right and who is wrong the damage can sometimes have lasting consciences. As others take sides. While I could point fingers, defend myself, Its not something I wish to do. I wish no ill feeling against my former friends. It just makes life harder. So Im really not wanted to deal with others I have known a long time. What do I say, Do I tell them there where
misunderstanding? Do I tell them I feel the others had lied, judged me because I am a bit eccentric or a bit overwhelming at time. The real issue isnt even the
person I was having issues with. Someone that apparently know how I feel and what I want. And instigated a lot of the issues where they meant to or not.
When really this person has no room to talk at all. Sure I could make them look an ... But what would that prove. It would make me no better then them. I'm sure with time other will see how they are. I have learned alot. People dont change who they are at there core. They may hide it for a while or fool others for a short time. In the end it will catch up with them. At least I hope so.
It seems to me too lie, cheat, and steal your way though life is the way of most. Thats not for me. I dont care about money, dont care about fame, dont care about fast cars, I care about people and that makes it very hard in a world where it seems most only care for themselfs.
By far Im no angel. I don't in away do every thing right. In fact normaly It takes me about 3 trys. Im sure I was somewhat at fault in all of this. I did do some thing maybe I shouldnt of. Things Im not very proud of. I may have been pushed alittle and emotions are not something most of us contol very well at times. We can look back reflect, hopeful learn something.
Its very odd how most things boil down to a miscommunication, a missunderstanding. That gets
totally out of control. Things get said that hurt others. I guess emotion is part of what makes
us human.
I will keep writing my book even if its hard somedays. Im not used to depression. I really like my book to be full of fun and that silver lining that these I just don't see. Normally even in the worse of situations I try to find a little good out of it. Dealing with
emotion has to be one of the hardest things we do as humans. Emotion however make us who we are.
Im still pretty much in shutdown mode. But I really want to come out and play. Hopeful the sun in my book comes out soon.
Its funny that you said something about color and emotion. I had kinda thought about doing something like that. Some what had all ready planned for my next blog. So I think its an awesome Idea. I like project no matter how many projects I have, can never have enough projects are like tool just can't have too many. They keep me going.
Thank You for your words
Mo